Recently I was thinking to myself, “What mandolin related ways of making a happy buck (to dump back in to the mandolin and coffee economies) are available to me within the confines of the spacious NYC closet I live in?” Obviously, my first thought was, for a hefty fee, I would transcribe and arrange people’s favorite morning cartoon themes for the instrument I love. When that wasn’t yielding as many takers as I or anyone would expect, I started to tackle other transcription projects. Basically, my new entrepreneurial service was converting anything you wanted into material for the mandolin—duck calls, meteorological events, cat fights, and even Rush tunes! Much to my chagrin, and after getting so good at mimicking duck calls that my block was literally covered in ducks, I realized that people were mostly interested in hearing bluegrass and fiddle tunes and stuff like that on the little eight-string magic maker. I therefore retired my arranging business (not before finishing my mandolin orchestration of the 1980 Mount Saint Helens volcanic eruption, which was months overdue) and started offering Skype/FaceTime lessons to the general public. Through the magic of technology, you will be transported from whatever nice house in the country or city or suburbs you live in, to the veritable mandolin laboratory I run out of my spacious, well-decorated, well-lit, spacious, Brooklyn abode. I do also offer in-person lessons, but it goes without saying that, if you choose this option, you run the risk of being completely overwhelmed by how completely dope my 79 square foot domicile is. Taking that in to consideration, if some mandolin lessons, over the silver screen or live in the flesh, would improve your life or the life of someone you love, please send me a note!
Some additional good news: I just made $1000 mandolin lesson gift certificates available, which make great stocking stuffers, grad school graduation presents and have also been known to reverse mid-life crises!